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One Woman Show

The Top of the Bottom Half is a Piece That Connects With Everyone!

“The Top of the Bottom Half

An Evening with the Keeper of All Knowledge”

The seventh child in a family of twelve, Liza Vann is the top of the bottom half. There are no sacred cows in this one-woman show which guarantees to raise eyebrows and answer questions about life, family and her less-than-traditional run-in with breast cancer.

One Woman Show

The Top of the Bottom Half is a Piece That Connects With Everyone!

“The Top of the Bottom Half

An Evening with the Keeper of All Knowledge”

The seventh child in a family of twelve, Liza Vann is the top of the bottom half. There are no sacred cows in this one-woman show which guarantees to raise eyebrows and answer questions about life, family and her less-than-traditional run-in with breast cancer.

“A Remarkable One-Woman Show about Love, Family, and Cancer. It is Provocative; it is Entertaining; and it is also Funny!”

Dr. Frank Field WWOR-TV

“Liza Vann can get a laugh out of a story that stars a dead body and a killer.”

Dan Reany The Winchester Star

“Hey, this is stuff to live by. It promises to be one of those amusing, enlightening evenings that would actually change your perspective. My recent chat with Vann certainly gave me a swift inspirational kick in the pants.”

Amy Beth Arkawy, Westchester County Weekly

“Heartwarming and Intense… It was an evening not many of us will soon forget.”

Susan Barry, The Sisko Foundation

“Not only is Liza Vann a gifted actress able to hold an entire audience spellbound, she is also a consummate communicator.”

Jean Greenwood, University of Wisconsin — Marathon County

“Liza’s fearless and positive approach to her breast cancer experience is an inspiration to women everywhere.”

Elizabeth Woolfe, National Alliance of Breast Cancer Organizations (NABCO)

“[Liza] Gave Us Wisdom… Kept Us Laughing… and Reminded Us That We Are All On The Same Journey.”

Warren Holleman, Baylor College of Medicine, TX

Excerpts

In her one-woman show, Liza Vann hits the stage with the words:

“I am the Keeper of All Knowledge. I am the Meanest Woman on the Planet. I am the 7th of 12 children. There might be a connection. Everything would have been fine if my friend, John, hadn’t called. You wouldn’t be here if my friend, John, hadn’t called. But John called. The 6th girl. The 7th child. The 7th of 12. Artie, Cissy, Susan, Ellen, Sarah, Gooche, Liza, Woody, Peter, Amy, John, and David also known as Doobie. My parents raised kids in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. I have sisters who listened to Chuck Berry. I have a sister who listens to Pearl Jam. I don’t know why my mother’s head hasn’t exploded. We come in a top half and a bottom half. And I’m the top of the bottom half. I share the middle with Gooche — I’ll repeat that. I share the middle with Gooche — but I am absolutely the one equidistant in age. And I lived with everyone. Not everyone lived with everyone. By the time my brother, Doobie, was born, my brother, Art, was already in college. But I was in the center. And from the center, I saw each and every crisis. I am the eye in the hurricane of twelve. And I am asked a lot of questions. That’s why I’m here. I’m beginning to think that’s why I’m on the planet.”

The Rules

The Do’s:

  • You are the only one at the table; everyone else comes and goes.
  • Know what you know and know what you don’t know.
  • Save screwing up for the things that don’t count.
  • Discretion is the better part of anything.
  • Pick your battles.
  • Look for the logic.
  • Do the Hitler/Gandhi test.

The Don’ts:

  • DON’T apologize for being right.
  • DON’T feel good about bad decisions.
  • DON’T look for bad things; they’ll find you.
  • DON’T count on a second chance.
  • You DON’T have to make the mistake to learn the lesson.
  • DON’T look at the dogs, work the lock.
  • You DON’T have to jump out of the car if you can’t make a pig noise.

Just Because…

  • Accept responsibility.
  • Appreciate it when you get it right.
  • Acknowledge it when you get it wrong.

Appearances

Show Venues and Media Appearances

FAQs

Questions and Answers on the Show, Family, and Cancer

Contact Liza

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© 2018  Liza Vann

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